Stalking 101
by whoglivie126
Summary: Uh oh...it seems that the Yuki Fan Club has found Tohru's place of residence...
1. snow cones

Disclaimer: i don't own the series, but you can try sueing me for it if you want...

Once upon a time, in high school far, far away, there was a fan club. Now, this was no ordinary fan club, this was THE psychotic Yuki fan club of Kawaii High. Of course, there were times when sanity could be found on campus…until the Yuki fan club members met to discuss the only (and I stress ONLY) thing on these high school girls' minds. Yuki.

More than half of the girls in Kawaii High were in the fan club. The president, and easily the most insane girl of the bunch, Motoko Medigowa, was a senior with only eyes for Yuki. All her days were consumed by her Yuki worship, with three of her members by her side. The Vice President was Minami Koshina, Number One was Mio Yamagishi, and My Goto was Number Two. Together they organized and ruled the cult, err,_ fan club_.

Their one goal above all others was protect the Prince. Together they will prevail! But recently a little problem has arisen. Tohru Honda. Their beloved Prince Yuki was getting too close to this girl. The secret desire of every Prince Yuki Fan Club Member was to have Yuki to themselves, and so Tohru posed a threat to their chances. So, she had to be eliminated. enter organ pipes here This is where we start today, as the members came together in one of their, oh SO secret meetings.

"Tohru is becoming a bigger problem than expected. Does anybody have an, oh so brilliant plan on how to eliminate her?"

Motoko looked around the room to see an entourage of stupefied faces.

"Lets kick her!" replied Number One.

"…"

"Lets dye her hair blue!" the Vice President said.

"I feel like a snow cone!" Number Two said with a dreamy look on her face.

"Yay snow cones!" all of them ran out of the room.

"……."

Thirty minutes later…

"Ah, snow cones."

Motoko woke up from her stupefied daze. She sent her members an evil glare. "Let me get this straight. You left me here all alone to come up with an oh, so brilliant plan, BY MYSELF? For snow cones!"

"Eh… Sorry? Um…We got you cherry." offered Number Two.

"Cherry, huh? You're forgiven. Now, while we're eating our snow cones, we shall contemplate our next move against Tohru."

Silently the girls eat their snow cones and think of new ways to get back at Tohru.

"_Tohru Honda is sooo stupid! As a matter of fact, I think she'd bring a fork and spoon to the Super Bowl! Ha Ha Ha!" _thought Minami.

"_Whose in the forest strolling, the birds and the bees sing YUKI SOHMA! The frogs in the pond are calling, YUKI, YES IT'S TRUE! The trees raise their leaves together, who needs the sun, when we have YUKI! Whose in the forest strolling? YUKI SOHMA, YES IT'S TRUE!_" sang Number Two idly in her head.

"_Tohru Honda must be a witch, that's the only way should could keep Yuki away from me! I must get her, before my time here at Kawaii High is over! I must prevail!" _thought Motoko with a determined look.

A random teacher enters the room. "What are you all doing here? Go home!"

" I miss you, my deliciously delicious snow cone of lemon-lime!"

Four pairs of eyes turned to the Vice President. "What?" she asked.

"Did you all hear me, go home! School's over!" the teacher said, finally losing his patience.

"SILENCE YOU WHELP! I DEMAND YOU LEAVE AT ONCE! Our beloved Prince is in danger!" Motoko screamed.

The teacher stared blankly at Motoko. "That's very nice. Um, I'm going to call, um…I'm leaving you, um, bye?" the teacher said as he exited the room once more.

As the teacher slowly bakced out of the room, the Vice President got an idea.

"Um, how do you know you have an idea?" asked the Vice President. Once again, all eyes in the room turned to her. Then a huge grin graced her face. "Oh, never mind, I remember!" enter anime sweat drop here

"Minami, are you O.K?" asked Number One.

"Yes, I am, because I have the perfect idea to get rid of our little problem!"


	2. The oh, so brilliant plan

Disclaimer: if we owned _Fruits Basket_, why would we be writing here?

"Ooh, what is it?" asked the members.

"WE'LL STALK HER!"

"…"

"I said, we'll stalk her!"

"…"

Haru enters as the girls are staring at the Vice President. "What's this I hear about snow cones? I want snow cones! If I had a million dollars, I'd be rich…in SNOW CONES! Ah ha ha ha!" Haru then tries to run from the room before running into the door, knocking himself unconscious.

Motoku sweat dropped. "Um, OK, about this plan. A bit eccentric (Motoko thought the kicking sounded good) but it'll do."

"What's the plan?" Number 2 asked.

"Stalk Tohru…HELLO! Aren't you paying attention!" Motoko yelled.

"Uh…no." Number 2 said.

Motoko sighed. "Alright, we're going to stalk Tohru, that should let us know what the prince sees in her. Once we find out more about her, we'll be able to infiltrate her lair, and come up with a new plan."

"Wow…" the girls said in unison.

"You actually sounded smart for once, Pres," Number One admitted.

"Oh my Bob! She's showing intelligence! She must be a witch!" the Vice President screeched.

"I knew it all along! Quick, tackle her before she turns us into tuna!"

Motoko then found herself pinned to the floor with three over zealous girls poking her with random writing utensils.

"GET OFF ME, YOU WHELPS! HONESTLY, THIS SCHOOL IS FULL OF YOU PEOPLE! I NEVER THOUGHT STUPIDITY COULD GO SO FAR!"

"SNOOOOWWWW COOOOOOOONNNNNESSSSS!"

Oh dear. It seems Haru woke up. After several minutes of the girls' stupefied stares and Haru's frantic searching, Haru exited the room, but not before he pointed to Motoko and shouted, "It's a witch! Tickle her!"

"I am not a witch! Am I really that ugly?" Motoko sniffled.

"No President"

"Never, if I were a guy, I'd so go out with you!"

Motoko stared at the Number Two.

"Never follow me home again," Motoko said, as calmly as possible when one of your friends just tells you they LIKE YOU like you.

"Sometimes you say the stupidest things," commented the Vice President, Minami.

"Oh, but it just can't be helped," added Number One.

"WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" cried Number Two.

"Oh, nothing, just that you're stupid by nature, baka."

"Oh, alright then. Sounds good to me!"

While this exchange is going on, Motoko can't help but wonder what deity she pissed off enough to warrant this treatment.

"You know, that Haru was pretty cute…and he liked snow cones," confessed the Vice President.

"Yeah, but he kind of reminds me of a cow…" added Number One.

Motoko sighed. Yes, now they were even admiring other men besides Yuki. How on earth did I get stuck with these people? Wait, it's impossible to love anyone but Yuki! This is all Tohru's doing, I know it! We must find her weakness, she must suffer for her selflessness! It's inhuman! We must prevail!

Will Motoko prevail? Will Minami admit to Haru he's cute? Will Haru get his snow cone? These questions answered next time on Stalking 101! insert "YAY! here


End file.
